Shattered friendship

I don't mean to start things on a down note but remember in the intro where I said I'd share the drama as well as the joys of role-playing in World of Warcraft?

Yeah, sorry to say drama happened before I could get to the more positive stuff. My apologies.

I met my real life best friend within the game. At one time we were inseperable. We know almost everything about the other, we role-played in the game together, our characters were practically on the same account as anything the other needed was given freely, within the game we were partners in all things, we watched shows together on hulu.com, we talked on voice chat. We did everthing it was possible to do together online.

We could talk about ANYTHING with the other, and often did. For hours.

Even though we had never met each other face to face she was truly my best friend. I've never known someone as intimately as I did her without that person being family or someone I was romantically involved in. She was neither, she was my friend. My BEST friend in the true meaning of the word. A meaning I think most people don't really understand. She might as well have been my sister for all intents and purposes.

Well even as I was typing the intro to this blog we were busy arguing and breaking up with one another. Things had been strained between us for months. I think we both knew it was over awhile ago but neither of us could really bring ourselves to say it outloud and make it real.

But ignoring something doesn't make it go away.

At the end of the day she's still self-centered and self-involved and I'm still smoothering and judgmental. Neither of us has added joy to the other's life in some time... only hurt and anger. We're both to blame of course. I may be biased but I think I tried to outreach a little more. But there comes a time when no matter how much you cared for the other you just have to let go.

Does that make our earlier relationship a lie? I don't think so. I wouldn't trade the time we did have together for anything and part of me will always care for her. I will deeply miss the person she once was and our friendship. There is a definite void in my life now, as if a close family member had died. But I can't say I'll mourn what our relationship became: empty and hollow... a thing of habit only.

I miss what once was, but I find I can't miss what our relationship has been the last few months.

Unfortunately we cannot ignore the other completely. We are still on the same server, in the same guild, and with the same friends. Moreover over the last year and nine months we had created an extended in-character family together that includes several other players. Hopefully we can keep this from spilling over into their play experience.

Note: I am not usually so emo. But this is a pretty major event and it seemed wrong somehow to have it go by unremarked. Really bad timing for the blog however. But this blog is about life in the game and life is like that. It's untidy.

Promise, usually things are more upbeat. Really.

*sighs* Who do you go to for comfort when it's the person you go to for comfort that you've ended a friendship with?