A Dragon’s Heart Pt. 1

The sound of someone munching on toast can be heard and then between bites the high-pitched voice of Rublestrasza is also heard: “Sso today I hope to run into Anthuss…”

More munching can be heard, sounding as if the person eating is in a rush.

“Gotta hurry… Rhune will be here any minute… and I’d really like to avoid him today. I think he talked to Ravine or Scheen and…”

“Ruby Astherion!” the voice of Rublestrasza’s adopted father/pet human can be heard exclaiming.

Ruby groaned: “Fel’ing luck.”

Rhune continued, “What is this Ravine tells me about you allying with Vissic? VISSIC of all people? One of the most corrupt warlocks on Azeroth?! You KNOW what he is Ruby. How can you do this?”

Ruby breathes in deeply and clears her throat, sounding very much like someone preparing themselves for battle. An epic battle. Very possibly the most epic battle of all time.

Nothing unusual for the Astherion household of course.

“I know exactly what it iss I am doing Rhune. You don’t have to sscold me like a child. I’m nearly a drake now you know.” Ruby said sounding somewhere halfway between an indignant child and the adult she claimed to be. “I have good reasonss for doing what I am doing.”

“Do you? Then perhaps you could explain them in a reasoned manner instead of hiding from me like a child who has broken a window?” Rhune scolded.

"Rhune!” Ruby gasped. Then she continued in a more halting manner, as if he had indeed landed the first blow, “I… I’m doing it for you. And Anthus… and Dawsen… for all of you. Vissic thinkss that he may have found a way to extend your lifespan, it would also heal Dawsen whose time you KNOW is limited Rhune. I’ve checked over his plan mysself and it soundss possible. Very possible.”

“Ruby…” Rhune tries to interrupt.

Ruby pushes on, “No Rhune. You don’t know what it’ss like. Knowing I’m going to outlive all of you. I’ve tried to deal with it. I play matchmaker for everyone, trying to preserve ssomething of you through your children and grandchildren. But thiss iss sso much more than that. I won’t losse you… any of you… ever!”

“It is my duty to preserve life. And there’ss no better place to start than with those whom I love the mosst.” Ruby finished with determination.

“And what is this plan of Vissic’s exactly?” Rhune asked an edge to his voice.

Ruby stubbornly replied, “No Rhune, I cannot tell you. I can’t trust you not to try to stop uss. I wish I could, I truly do. But I cannot. You will jusst have to trusst me.”

“I know how hard trusst iss for you.” Ruby added sounding hurt despite the irony of her statement.

“Oh Ruby…” Rhune sighed in sympathy despite her barb at the end. “This isn’t like when you started seeing Anthus or wanted to learn how to fire juggle… this is VISSIC. He is evil and corrupt and nothing but evil and corruption can come from his works. Good is never born from darkness Ruby. You know that.”

Ruby responded stubbornly and defensively, “But I KNOW what he iss Rhune! I’m watching him carefully and I would never let him push me into doing anything… bad. I have everything under control.”

“You just think you do. He’ll twist things Ruby… and before you know it…” Rhune tried to interject.

“It will be FINE.” Ruby interrupted. “I am going to sstay with Anthus until thiss iss all over. Jusst sstay out of the way and everything will be fine. Dawssen will be healthy and all of uss will never have to be sseperated.”

“Ruby wait!” Rhune shouted.

The sound of a door slamming can be heard and then the chime of Ruby’s magic star ruby being turned off.

A Dragon’s Whimsy Pt. 24

“Preserver Anthus Steelshatter, defender of the Red Dragonflilght and magus in service to the Life-Binder!”

Ruby giggled.

“Perhapss more grand than my beloved would care for but I have a right to be proud!”

Her voice was filled with a joy that had not been heard in some weeks, not since… Coldarra.

“My ssire is sstrong, cunning, and sskilled. But for so long now he has felt empty… feeling he should use his skillss for something greater. He had that desire even when I first met him. Perhapss one of the reasons I was attracted to him for a desire to serve something greater beatss in every true dragons heart.”

“Even the Retribution did not seem to satisfy this desire. And as bogged down as the Retribution has become in politicss and false smiless I cannot blame him.”

“And so after monthss of service to the Wyrmrest Accord as a freelancer he was granted an audience with the Life-Binder herself. Together we stood before the queen of all dragon-kind and he humbly asked to enter her service loyally and with honor for the rest of his life.”

“Now this is not completely unheard of for a mortal to do such a thing. In ancient times there were mortals known as the dragonsworn who served the dragonflights. Many suspect the descendants of these dragonsworn, after many generations near my kin, eventually became the wrymkin. In more recent timess many adventurers have worked for the Accord as freelancers in the Nexus War.”

“The Queen heard his petition and questioned him at length. Anthus stood up under the pressure despite his nervousness before entering the audience chamber. I wish I could say I held up as well. The Life-Binder still… uh… awes me. Just a little. Tiny bit.”

“Ok… Anthus had to tell me what happened afterward because I was too nervous to take in anything… and… uh…” she coughs before continuing, “Well… he… err… had to drag me off when the audience was eventually over. And I may have forgotten to bow on the way out… and I hope she wasn’t offended but I was nervouss and…”

“Ah, but we’re getting sside-tracked.”

“The Life-Binder asked me my thoughtss on the matter and I stammered out my response which I assume was filled with confidence and all those reasons I love and trust him… but which I for the life of me can’t remember because my mind didn’t register anything till I left Alexstrasza’s presence.”

“However whatever it was it seemed to help as the Life-Binder soon agreed to accepting Anthus’ oath of service and when my beloved did finally drag me away he did so as a defender of the Red Dragonflight!”

Ruby giggles again before concluding: “Perhapss I sshouldn’t be ssurprised. He’s won the heart of one dragon… why not the trust of another?”

A Dragon’s Whimsy Pt. 23

A crystalline chime can be heard as the magical star ruby belonging to the whelpling known as Rublestrasza begins recording and the the voice of the dragon herself can be heard:

“Much hass changed ssince my lasst recording. My training is complete and I now fight alongside my kin in the Nexus War. Since arriving in Northrend I have known ssorrow and pride in equal measure.”

“I have begun serving in Coldarra. There I found my still being an whelpling meant I was not… er… taken as seriously as I might have been. In fact the drakess snickered and the elder wrymss ignored me. Even the humanss of the Kirin Tor seemed uncertain what to make of me despite my Retribution of Arathor affiliation.”

“There was however an exception. During a mission for the Kirin Tor I happened to rescue the elder dame Keriastrasza from Malygos’ clutchess. She was grateful and took me under her wing. She soon came up with a grandiose plan to delay the Spell-Weaver’s planss and enlisted my help. During the time we worked together I came to respect her… even to ssee her as an example of what it meant to BE a dragon.”

“The plan to lure out Malygos was successful, but with a horrendouss price. He took Keriastrasza as his consort, warping her mind to his service. I and a band of mercenaries were sent to find her and free her from the Spell-Weaver’s grasp… by any meanss necessary.”

“This we accomplished.”

A muffled sob can be heard, as if the speaker where crying into a pillow, and then Ruby’s voice in a barely audible whisper: “I killed her..killed her… killed her… killed her.”

More sobbing can be heard and then the sound of Ruby forcing it down as she continues bitterly: “And now having killed my new mentor… my kin respect my abilities. They gave me a tabard and accept me gladly in the Life-Binder’s forces. All for showing my abilities in sservice to the Queen… more like for killing one of our own!”

“I know it was necessary… I couldn’t leave her like that… but…”

“I killed her… I killed her… I killed her… I killed her…”

As the sobbing continues a click can be heard and the recording ends.

A Dragon’s Whimsy Pt. 22

The contents of a letter recently delivered to the Wyrmrest Temple:

My Queen,

Since the expedition to the catacombs beneath Wyrmrest Temple I have learned that the true reason for Tilby’s excursions are to decipher a mysterious scroll the death knight found in Silithus. The next part of decoding the scroll required locating an ancient book of magic located in the abandoned dwarf library in Grim Batol.

I accompanied Tilby on this expedition in part to keep an eye on him and in part to take the opportunity to spy on or reach out to the Black Dragonflight depending on what I would find there. My apologies your majesty if I took too much upon myself. However what I DID find there I believe you will find of much interest.

Tilby led us to a cave system located in the Wetland hills. After passing through a series of smaller caves we passed around a large underground lake and eventually we came to a back entrance to Grim Batol though it was located high above the cliff face. Luckily it was no trouble for me to shift into whelpling form and carry a robe up for everyone else to climb up.

We emerged into a large cavern with buildings carved into the sides. It reminded me very much of Ironforge. Tilby knew the library was on a higher level however so we began a search for a way up.

I checked out a vent on the ceiling and unexpectedly found myself covered in a strange dark goop for my trouble. Luckily someone caught me or I’d have fallen and broken my neck before I could recover. Future agents should avoid the vents. Also the goop stinks and feels icky.

Just saying.

While investigating one of the buildings we heard sounds outside and knew we had attracted unwanted attention. Attention of the black-scaled variety. We shut the door and tried to find another way out… but there were no other doors nor were there windows either. We did however find another method: the old (and thankfully not used for hundreds of years) sewer drain.

Down and down we tumbled until we reached the bottom, which did not improve our situation any as the bottom had a very large dragon of the black-scaled variety. At this point I must emphasize the word large. Possibly as large as your majesty’s consort, or even your majesty.

It was big. Just saying.

And it was fiery with lots of heat and flames. And metal. It was covered in armor plating. I think you know who I’m talking about. Yeah. HIM.

I was scared. Anyone would be.

Luckily for us he was also asleep. We tiptoed out of there but not before Tilby picked up one of it’s scales that was laying there. We emerged into another large city-cavern and there it was… the library. Not on an upper level after all. So much for Tilby’s supposed knowledge of the layout. However he DID know about the back entrance so I won’t hold it against him.

We distracted a pair of Wyrmkin guards and slipped inside. There we encountered… books. Lot’s and lot’s of books. As we began our search I had a brief scare when I thought a black whelpling was attacking me but it turned out to be merely a large bat that I had startled.

Finally we found the tome we were looking for and I managed to make sure it was in my possession. We teleported back to Ironforge and there we found ourselves in a standoff as I did not trust Tilby enough to give him the book as I still found his intentions murky at best.

I thought it might actually come to violence until Tilby offered to give me the black scale from… HIM… in exchange for the book. I accepted, as I believed proof of what we had found in Grim Batol was more important than whatever it is that Tilby is up to. And perhaps the scale might even come in useful.

And that ends my report on the expedition to Grim Batol. However I did make another deal with Tilby: in exchange in my help on an expedition to Capital City in Lordereon in order to find the next key in deciphering his scroll he would allow me to read the scroll when he was finished decoding it. This trip was successful though not without watching two idiots almost catapult themselves into Capital City’s outer wall, two encounters with the Forskaen, and a run-in with an exploding barrel filled with the Forsaken plague.

The final result of this latest expedition is that we now know the scroll creates something or is describing an item that creates something.

I also got to visit his lab afterward. I found nothing that would require its incineration at this moment. Unfortunately.

In summary: Deathwing is alive and well.

Your faithful servant and daughter,

Rublestrasza.

A Dragon’s Whimsy Pt. 21

A click and then Ruby’s high-pitched voice can be heard: “Despite how well my personal life hass been going not all of my endeavors have gone as well. My attempts to bring the albino dragonss into the Accord have sso far met in failure.”

With a sigh she continues: “Failure may be an undersstatment. I may have accidentally gotten my only friend among the albinoss exiled. Err… alright I flat out did and I feel terrible about it.”

“They did more than exile her. They… hurt her. Badly.”

“A young red drake was overzealous in it’ss duties and an albino whelping was killed. Kali was an easy target for the albino’s rage given her closeness with me.”

“I’m not ssure what to do. No matter what I do it seems one faction or the other is sstuck in it’ss old ways. Bitterness runs deep in the albino dragons and uncertainty remains high in the Accord about the albinos. Trust is nowhere to be found on either side.”

“The accord will never trust dragonss that have no Titan-given purpose. And the albinos will never put aside their bitterness toward us, nor find a true purpose as they are too buried in memory of what hass been done to them and merely surviving to think beyond to greater matterss.”

“I am thinking of going to the albinos personally to negotiate in person and apologize for our actionss. This will be dangerous but it iss the only way I think.”

A Dragon’s Whimsy Pt. 20

“Hello there again… I’ve been a bit lax on thesse voice recordings lately sso I’m just going to go over ssome of the things that have been happening briefly to catch up…” Ruby said and then paused as the sound of… something can be heard whining and growling.

Ruby giggled and then continued: “That’ss my new pet… Razzi. He’s my new raptor hatchling. I found the poor dear in Stranglethorn Vale after some trolls had wiped out the rest of his… yess…yess! I’m getting you food Razzi! Calm down!”

The sound of a knife chopping meat can be heard as Ruby resumes: “I have a full report to make to the Life-Binder soon about matterss relating to my duties to the Wyrmrest Accord. Thesse include an expedition to Grim Batol and the ruins of Capital City, and the latest on the problems with the Albino dragons. Expect a full update on those ssoon.”

The sound of a clay platter being placed on a hard surface can be heard, and then the sound of a knife sliding across a cutting board as it pushes the morsels of meat onto the platter, and then finally the sounds of Ruby’s hands being washed in water follows.

“Today I’m going to sstick to my personal life. I’ve met a lot of people lately including: Doderic… he’s really shy but always makes sure the Lost Traveler Tavern has strawberry icecream for me, Nesepha… she’ss shy too though she tries to pretend that she’ss not, Philomene… she’s a mute through choice and can be a bit stand-offish but I know she has a good heart, and Maesaeloria… a druid who I find to be very wise and serene, and a very gentle soul as well.”

“Doderic, Nesepha, and Philomene each seem to have problems with romantic entanglements…usually the lack of them. I’ve been trying to help them fix that in my own way. In addition I’ve been trying my best to help Philomene become a more ‘people’ person. I just know she’d be a lot happier if she thawed out a little and relaxed and I’ve seen some progress on that front already. She’s even wearing a dress lately.” Ruby says with a giggle.

The sound of the platter being placed on the floor and a very excited raptor hatchling can be heard. “There you go Razzi… that’s enough meat for even a dragon.” Ruby says with amusement to the raptor hatchling.

Ruby resumes for the star ruby recording: “The biggest development though is my relationship with Anthus. Ssince the last recording we have grown MUCH closer. We’ve been on a number of dates from diving from the waterfalls of Stranglethorn and hunting together in it’s jungles, to relaxing on the beaches of Teldrassil, to visiting Aerie Peak the home of his adopted family before their death.”

Ruby sighs in contentment: “We have grown so close I can no longer imagine my life without him to be honest.”

“I know not everything is ideal. Hiss short lifespan iss something I will have to come to terms with and we cannot have hatchlings together. Both of these things are unfortunate… especially so in combination with one another. I know Anthus dwells on these facts more than he should but I do my best to emphasize everything else and distract him when he gets stubborn about it.”

“I have grown very good at learning how to… uh… distract him.” Ruby says with a cackle.

“The truth of the matter iss that I love him. Nothing else matters anymore. He’s captured me heart and soul and there wouldn’t be anything I could do even if I wanted to. He’ss so strong, but kind and gentle. He’ss not afraid of his emotions like so many other mortals, which is good because I have a lot of my own and he is well equipped to deal with them. He doesn’t mind what he calls my “red headed fiery spirit” nor my draconic… uh… quirkss… but neither will he allow himself to be pushed around.”

“Matterss have grown serious enough that Anthus and I have told Rhune about our relationship. This went well for the most part… once I reassured Rhune that Anthus was an addition to my life and not a replacement for him. I still love Rhune and the Astherions as much as I ever did. I just… want what Rhune has with Rin. Or Tana with Adiros.”

“Rhune did however request Anthus always get me home by dawn. And by request he threatened to turn Anthus into a turtle if he didn’t.” Ruby sighed. Then added in a pout: “As if I’m some ssort of child!”

Ruby added in a fairly good, if high pitched imitation of Rhune’s voice: “As long as you live under my roof you’ll obey my rules…”

“Even worse Anthus agreed! Well we’ll ssee about THAT.” Ruby said firmly.

“I have yet to talk to the Life-Binder directly about my relationship with Anthus either. Our relationship is… not common among dragonss. I admit to being nervous about that conversation even though Anthus has been working hard on behalf of the Wyrmrest Accord of late.”

“Anyway that’ss all for now. More thoughts later.” Ruby said before a final “click” is heard and the stone shuts off.

True friendship!

There are friends… and then there are FRIENDS. True friends. It can be hard to tell the difference on the internet sometimes, but they can be found even here. You can tell the difference if you stop a moment and think. They’re the ones who ask if you’re alright when something goes wrong. They’re the ones who do so even when they don’t have to, even when it’s not socially expected.

Sometimes they even follow up and check in on you as time goes on. Because they actually care. They can take a moment and see beyond themselves. You can tell when someone is just going through the motions. They’re the ones who just want the conversation to end.

It’s true that in such times it is rare anyone can truly help you. When sorrow strikes what use are words? But it’s not the words, it’s the attempt that matters. Just the knowledge someone cares is enough.

There have been those who have helped me in this way the last few weeks. To them I offer thanks and I earnestly hope I will be there if and when you too need a true friend.

You know who you are. And you are the awesomesauce!

First steps along the path…

As mentioned in my last post I have set myself a goal of where I want to be… a person I want to become… and that I have a year to get there. Not being one to waste time I’ve taken the first few steps along that journey already.

Step one: I’ve always wanted to draw. Well no more excuses. With some of my birthday monies I bought DragonArt by J "NeonDragon" Peffer. This book is 127 pages of easy to follow instructions on how to draw dragons.

I’ll say right now I love this book.

It’s in full color, softbound but of high-quality glossy paper, and attractive and well laid out. The artist’s *cough* whimsical humor is evident throughout. And it is very easy to follow along.

She starts off with an introduction that introduces the reader to some basic concepts and then launches right into how to draw a basic dragon, slowly advancing the reader step-by-step to drawing ever more complicated dragons, covering many different angles and poses.

I have yet to begin my instruction using the book but it looks easy enough the way she has it laid out. And the fact the book is in full color is more than just eye candy, as the lines you are to draw in the current step are in red while the previous lines are in blue, making it very easy to keep track of what it is you’re supposed to be doing.

All-in-all it looks like a lot of fun. I can’t wait to see how far I’ll come on dragon drawing by my next birthday (see why it’s such a good birthday gift?).

Step two: I’ve been looking back into the past in recent weeks and I’ve realized I’d really wished I’d been journaling all these things. It doesn’t seem right that my character’s lives are chronicled so well but I pay so little to writing about myself until heartbreak comes.

All that changes now. I will be on a journey of sorts over the next year and it should be chronicled even if just for myself. It will keep me on track. Very important if I want to get where I want to go.

I’ve started a new blog which will act as my journal. You know… for the typist. Yeah seriously. For real even.

This has the added benefit that THIS blog can go back to being what it was supposed to be about: character fiction and role-playing articles (the later of which I DO intend to start posting like I originally promised).

So far it just repeats the latest three posts here. But from here on out it will diverge. You can find it here: Journal of a Whimsical Dragon.

Just the lone tiger now…

It’s been a week since my last post and nearly three weeks since the official breakup. Has it really been so long? It seems like last night… except it also seems like an eternity ago.

A lot has happened in the last week. I’ve gone through everything I have on my computer that had to do with her. Chatlogs, e-mail, pictures, all of it. I dreaded doing it. I knew it would bring up so much sadness and regret. But I also knew I needed to do it. I needed to embrace what we had one last time so I could let her go. So much warmth and caring. I was reminded that she did love me once. She had to have. All of that couldn’t have been an act. And that means I can be loved again.

After I was done I put it all in a folder and buried it as deep in my computer and hit “invisible”. It’s there still. I can’t delete nearly a year of my life… or all evidence of the first person I ever loved. But it’s all out of sight and out of mind. I’m not going to look at it again for a very long time I think.

I also had a birthday. This means I’m a year older. This would normally depress me, in fact it should depress me MORE now as I’m further from where I wanted to be than I was earlier this year.

Except I don’t think I AM further away after all. I learned so much from being with her… about relationships and about myself. What I’m looking for. I don’t think I was ready to be in a relationship when I met her despite how much I wanted to be in one. I’m a lot closer to being there now however. I think NEXT time I will be ready if I can find the right woman.

I just need to get over the last one first.

And I need to get my own life straightened out too.

I’ve done nothing but think about this topic for almost three weeks now. And I’ve come to this conclusion: this is a do-over. Not just for relationships but for everything. My entire life. It’s time to become the person I want to be. It’s time I put as much effort into myself as I do my in-game avatars. The woman I eventually find needs to be worthy of the love I can lavish on her. But I need to be worthy of her too.

This will mean less time in World of Warcraft to an extent. But I’m not going away. I do not see World of Warcraft as a negative experience in the slightest. In fact I know if I hadn’t been playing WoW I’d have been doing something less productive. It wouldn’t have changed a thing for me. At least in the game I’ve met some good people, had a chance to express my creativity, practiced writing, and learned a lot about myself. More than I would have without the game I think.

It’s not about leaving. It’s about finding a balance.

The hardest part isn’t leaving the game-play, or even the role-playing. It’s that after three years in the game I’m used to never being alone. There’s always someone on. There’s always chatter to listen to. There is always someone to talk to. I was such a loner once and now I can’t stand to be alone for even a moment.

AIM only helps so much. Maybe Battle.net 2.0 will solve this little problem for me. Blizzard just needs to HURRY UP ALREADY!

I made a vow to myself right before my birthday: One year from now my life will be back on track, I will have a steady financial income, I will have gotten in  the habit of writing more and be drawing, and I will be a whole and complete person and ready to meet my future wife.

2010 is my year. I intend it to be the pivotal moment in my life. Everything is going to change forever.

My Happy Ending

The title is a song by Avril Lavigne and it pretty much represents my entire life at the moment. Not Rhune’s life or Ruby’s life, but their typists. Probably didn’t notice right? No you probably didn’t. I’m too good at pretending everything is fine.

But everything is not fine. I am NOT alright. Sometimes I wonder how it is no one around me has noticed.

Deep within my own mind I scream and rage… cry and lay broken… and when I do not feel those I am too numb to feel anything.

Time has passed since we ended. I thought the feelings were supposed to fade? They’re not fading. I don’t think it’s supposed to be this way. I think something is wrong.

It’s not like I haven’t had closure. I know why we broke up. I know where things went wrong. I’ve had my last conversation with her. I’ve gotten to say goodbye. The feelings should be fading now. I’ve done everything one is supposed to in order to move on.

I really should. She certainly has.

I have certainly tried. But then I’ll remember the sound of her voice, her playful smile, her loving words. They still make me smile, how do you let something like that go?

I need to dump all her e-mails and pictures. I need to delete the link to her photobucket and pandora profile pages. I REALLY need to eliminate her from my gmail contact list. Seeing when she is online is not helpful. Nor is her gmail contact picture amusing and cute as it is, as it always is no matter how many times she changes it.

I realize that. I really do.

Maybe tomorrow.

Interesting fact: Did you know if the sorrow is great enough you can scream and it’s completely silent? I do. Never felt so close to Faylian either. Which is why I don’t play her currently.